Day of Regrouping
Somehow, God knew I would need today "off." So to speak. Oh, I'm out and about. But not in the hurried bustling way of the last day and a half. I got my stuff a bit more "organized" (if you can call it that). Most of it's still in my car. I've picked up the stuff I left with the Balls. I've put a few things in my friend's apartment: enough clothes for 4 days and I offloaded a few "dead weight" things that were waisting gas money.
I stopped at the courthouse, wound up just being given a number for a hot-line that I have to call tomorrow morning and let them screen me first before an appointment can be made to visit with a volunteer lawyer who can advise me.
That reminds me. No, Christians shouldn't take each other to court over their petty differences. Yes, there's been real abuse in my family. My parents are abusive people, they've been provocative, and any reaction other than happy smiles, to them, is "abuse" and not "self defense" or otherwise merely the result of having been exposed to so much real abuse that a person just winds up nearly acting the same way when truly and intentionally pushed by their abuser. All things considered, I still don't think any of us should be taking each other to court. Christians are human beings, we all need Grace, and we all need to learn to give Grace rather than "the stick." Had my parents believed in being forgiving, affectionate people, had they ever learned how to have real fun, had they learned that relationships are even more important than the sometimes dryer side of democracy -- things would be a lot different right now. They wouldn't be planning what best way to attack me and destroy me. I wouldn't be juggling living, job hunting, and trying to find the best way to stay out of legal trouble (while knowing that they would love nothing more than to destroy me, and knowing that I have to rightly be defended, and learning how to make sure that happens).
I reorganized my purse, and started reorganizing my folder. I consolidated the phone numbers people have been giving me lately. I ate. A bun, some water, some low sodium V-8 juice, and a vegan granola bar. Because I've reorganized my car, I now know where more of my food is. I put the sacks of flour and sugar and such in the apartment.
I went to the Library to relax, maybe fill out some applications. Wound up overhearing so much annoying "Should SDA's keep Sabbath and wear jewelry?" talk from some theology students that, well, I just had to. Like hell doesn't God believe in Jewelry. I told them how I feel about women in Africa wearing what types of jewelry, and I do hope that my remarks there (about marriage vs. paganism) were useful. (Erik, I don't know, I might have been "playing Esther" again. Or else sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I'm not sure.) As for the Sabbath thing, I just (incredibly briefly, I'm not kidding) told them about how I've struggled to make it in this world and hang onto the Sabbath and why in the world I actually do (because I want to spend that time with my Husband). They were definitely quieted for awhile. One spoke up and said, "Yes, but there needs to be some guidance." True. But with what attitude and perspective? The guys discussed that for awhile too. A female student who wasn't part of their group waited for them to leave (their class ended at 4), and then congratulated me on speaking up (they were all guys). So, well, at least that was useful to her. I apologized to her for how my generation dropped the ball when it came to knowing how to study the Bible. We just did, no excuses.
So, now I'm sitting here blogging, and actually kind of relaxing for the first time in hours. I need to be filling out applications. I emailed the woman from the wine and gift shop, because she told me she wanted to know if I was still interested by today. I am, so yeah, I emailed her. So that's done. She could still choose not to hire me, but I've already decided that if she does, even if she cuts down the hours a bit, I don't care. I like the job, it'll probably pay well, it'll give me all the experience I need for my resume, and while I'm still applying to the CC (since I don't know if she'll hire me or not) for next January, I'll scratch that plan too if I'm working by the time I would need to be registering for classes.
And that's pretty much it for now. I've been praying hard that God will get me that job. I seriously want it. But I know that no matter what, He has good plans for me, so I'm ok and going to be ok.
I stopped at the courthouse, wound up just being given a number for a hot-line that I have to call tomorrow morning and let them screen me first before an appointment can be made to visit with a volunteer lawyer who can advise me.
That reminds me. No, Christians shouldn't take each other to court over their petty differences. Yes, there's been real abuse in my family. My parents are abusive people, they've been provocative, and any reaction other than happy smiles, to them, is "abuse" and not "self defense" or otherwise merely the result of having been exposed to so much real abuse that a person just winds up nearly acting the same way when truly and intentionally pushed by their abuser. All things considered, I still don't think any of us should be taking each other to court. Christians are human beings, we all need Grace, and we all need to learn to give Grace rather than "the stick." Had my parents believed in being forgiving, affectionate people, had they ever learned how to have real fun, had they learned that relationships are even more important than the sometimes dryer side of democracy -- things would be a lot different right now. They wouldn't be planning what best way to attack me and destroy me. I wouldn't be juggling living, job hunting, and trying to find the best way to stay out of legal trouble (while knowing that they would love nothing more than to destroy me, and knowing that I have to rightly be defended, and learning how to make sure that happens).
I reorganized my purse, and started reorganizing my folder. I consolidated the phone numbers people have been giving me lately. I ate. A bun, some water, some low sodium V-8 juice, and a vegan granola bar. Because I've reorganized my car, I now know where more of my food is. I put the sacks of flour and sugar and such in the apartment.
I went to the Library to relax, maybe fill out some applications. Wound up overhearing so much annoying "Should SDA's keep Sabbath and wear jewelry?" talk from some theology students that, well, I just had to. Like hell doesn't God believe in Jewelry. I told them how I feel about women in Africa wearing what types of jewelry, and I do hope that my remarks there (about marriage vs. paganism) were useful. (Erik, I don't know, I might have been "playing Esther" again. Or else sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I'm not sure.) As for the Sabbath thing, I just (incredibly briefly, I'm not kidding) told them about how I've struggled to make it in this world and hang onto the Sabbath and why in the world I actually do (because I want to spend that time with my Husband). They were definitely quieted for awhile. One spoke up and said, "Yes, but there needs to be some guidance." True. But with what attitude and perspective? The guys discussed that for awhile too. A female student who wasn't part of their group waited for them to leave (their class ended at 4), and then congratulated me on speaking up (they were all guys). So, well, at least that was useful to her. I apologized to her for how my generation dropped the ball when it came to knowing how to study the Bible. We just did, no excuses.
So, now I'm sitting here blogging, and actually kind of relaxing for the first time in hours. I need to be filling out applications. I emailed the woman from the wine and gift shop, because she told me she wanted to know if I was still interested by today. I am, so yeah, I emailed her. So that's done. She could still choose not to hire me, but I've already decided that if she does, even if she cuts down the hours a bit, I don't care. I like the job, it'll probably pay well, it'll give me all the experience I need for my resume, and while I'm still applying to the CC (since I don't know if she'll hire me or not) for next January, I'll scratch that plan too if I'm working by the time I would need to be registering for classes.
And that's pretty much it for now. I've been praying hard that God will get me that job. I seriously want it. But I know that no matter what, He has good plans for me, so I'm ok and going to be ok.
posted by Caroline Talita Ishshah | 4:06 PM
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