O&BTW 2
More thoughts. For one, I would love to date for the hell of it. As in, just pretty much use members of the opposite sex who they and I are in each other's "date worthy" comfort zones as a means of going out and just having a good time, no strings attached. For another, that "comfort zone" thing is really interesting. I've finally come to realize that that's the real reason, in the end, that I didn't wind up with anyone I ever took interest in. We just weren't in each other's zones. Usually, the story goes like this:
Caroline is too "good" for her own good. B/f comes along, is a "bad boy" who has lots of fun and makes Caroline laugh. They become attracted. B/f thinks he's not good enough and freaks out and runs away. Caroline gets left thinking she screwed up and that he thought she wasn't good enough for him. He runs out and gets some other woman knocked up or whatever. Caroline gets mad, swears off all men for all of eternity, lives her own life, and eventually the cycle starts all over again. Thus Erik's answer, "A good man" to when I asked him, "So, what kind of man do you think I belong with, for real?" Or else I'll have to become a very "bad" woman. I don't even go for "good" men. Too boring, most of the time. No spark or zest. No fun. But really, I don't feel like being a "bad" woman, as far as really doing anything rotten is concerned. I like being who I am. But who I am is someone who's inevitably attracted to the "bad boys" of the world: men who tend to wind up either *doing time for crimes they actually committed (long after our breakups), or who should be. Oooh, that's attractive...
So, here's another "rule" (oooh, yay, ruuuules...). He has to be a good man who knows how to have real fun while not winding up on some "most wanted" list somewhere. Or else I'm just not interested.
The "queen" has spoken.
(Some man in a parking lot today called me a queen. It was quite amusing.)
* Before you (and I) forget that Jesus died as a criminal, between two thieves, one of which asked for mercy and was granted it, when none of those three deserved to die for their "crimes" (because the punishment didn't fit the "crimes" at all), I just wanted to point out that, in this life, there is a difference between small errors in judgment, and catastrophic, intentional "sins". When I say "in this life" I mean "in the life that we humans live as we interact with each other..." Think of it this way. One man mocked Jesus as God's Son, and wasn't given any assurance of the Salvation offered to him. The other man asked for mercy and was granted it. One was hopeful, the other hate-filled. Anyone who asks Jesus for Salvation is granted it. It's that simple. So, my comment above is really about attitude, it's not merely about behaviors.
But it's also about whether a man has any limits on how far he's willing to take it in messing up his own life and the lives of those around him, in the first place. In the end, it's about, "Does he have an active conscience, something that causes him to stop and think before hurting others, or not?" I mean, seriously, I don't want to wind up with anyone who never thinks before he acts. My life simply cannot afford it. If some man wants to F up his life and the lives of those around him, he can do it on some other woman's time, not on mine. Sure, we all make little mistakes, or even unimportant big ones, and that's ok. Because we're human. But some things I will never tolerate in a man, and one of them is the idea that he would ever lord himself over me, make any choice for me without asking me what I want first, make some big choice for himself that affects me without asking me first, etc. That kind of attitude problem, I think, is the true root of all evil. When it fully matures, it causes men to emotionally or even physically murder their wives, in the end, because they in their psychotic hell-holes-for-brains actually think that it's ok for them to hurt their wives in order to "teach" them. I sincerely suspect that many women who's husbands killed them were killed by men who didn't realize that their wives would actually die from being attacked. I guess what I'm saying is that he can't be a control freak, he can't think he's going to "teach me a lesson" (or be the kind of man who takes that kind of attitude with others, either), and I can't feel like I "answer to him" out of fear.
Yup. I'm about as ready as I'll ever be.
Caroline is too "good" for her own good. B/f comes along, is a "bad boy" who has lots of fun and makes Caroline laugh. They become attracted. B/f thinks he's not good enough and freaks out and runs away. Caroline gets left thinking she screwed up and that he thought she wasn't good enough for him. He runs out and gets some other woman knocked up or whatever. Caroline gets mad, swears off all men for all of eternity, lives her own life, and eventually the cycle starts all over again. Thus Erik's answer, "A good man" to when I asked him, "So, what kind of man do you think I belong with, for real?" Or else I'll have to become a very "bad" woman. I don't even go for "good" men. Too boring, most of the time. No spark or zest. No fun. But really, I don't feel like being a "bad" woman, as far as really doing anything rotten is concerned. I like being who I am. But who I am is someone who's inevitably attracted to the "bad boys" of the world: men who tend to wind up either *doing time for crimes they actually committed (long after our breakups), or who should be. Oooh, that's attractive...
So, here's another "rule" (oooh, yay, ruuuules...). He has to be a good man who knows how to have real fun while not winding up on some "most wanted" list somewhere. Or else I'm just not interested.
The "queen" has spoken.
(Some man in a parking lot today called me a queen. It was quite amusing.)
* Before you (and I) forget that Jesus died as a criminal, between two thieves, one of which asked for mercy and was granted it, when none of those three deserved to die for their "crimes" (because the punishment didn't fit the "crimes" at all), I just wanted to point out that, in this life, there is a difference between small errors in judgment, and catastrophic, intentional "sins". When I say "in this life" I mean "in the life that we humans live as we interact with each other..." Think of it this way. One man mocked Jesus as God's Son, and wasn't given any assurance of the Salvation offered to him. The other man asked for mercy and was granted it. One was hopeful, the other hate-filled. Anyone who asks Jesus for Salvation is granted it. It's that simple. So, my comment above is really about attitude, it's not merely about behaviors.
But it's also about whether a man has any limits on how far he's willing to take it in messing up his own life and the lives of those around him, in the first place. In the end, it's about, "Does he have an active conscience, something that causes him to stop and think before hurting others, or not?" I mean, seriously, I don't want to wind up with anyone who never thinks before he acts. My life simply cannot afford it. If some man wants to F up his life and the lives of those around him, he can do it on some other woman's time, not on mine. Sure, we all make little mistakes, or even unimportant big ones, and that's ok. Because we're human. But some things I will never tolerate in a man, and one of them is the idea that he would ever lord himself over me, make any choice for me without asking me what I want first, make some big choice for himself that affects me without asking me first, etc. That kind of attitude problem, I think, is the true root of all evil. When it fully matures, it causes men to emotionally or even physically murder their wives, in the end, because they in their psychotic hell-holes-for-brains actually think that it's ok for them to hurt their wives in order to "teach" them. I sincerely suspect that many women who's husbands killed them were killed by men who didn't realize that their wives would actually die from being attacked. I guess what I'm saying is that he can't be a control freak, he can't think he's going to "teach me a lesson" (or be the kind of man who takes that kind of attitude with others, either), and I can't feel like I "answer to him" out of fear.
Yup. I'm about as ready as I'll ever be.
posted by Caroline Talita Ishshah | 10:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home