She Asked for Help

That's a stock photo of a little girl who very much looks like a girl I saw in church today. She was outgoing, kept reaching out for me (I was one pew behind her family), and kept making eye contact with me, but not with her parents. Her dad kept taking her out of the sanctuary for any little peep she, a probably 18 mo. old made, and though I don't think he was spanking her in the foyer or bathroom, I do think he was sending her the wrong message. She kept asking for her mother, then when he placed her in her mother's lap, she looked over her mother's shoulder and in one, tiny, quiet word, "Help" told me that she wasn't so different from me at that age. At the end of the service, the girl started to wander toward another family in her pew, and her mother angrily yanked and dragged her (now crying, and stumbling) back to herself (rather than gently nudging her back), and then her dad took her out. Her mother stayed behind to gather their things, stayed angry, and then huffed out of the sanctuary.

I have to do the "Poor Woman's Hilton" project.

I don't know what lies in store for that girl. I knew if I said even one thing to the mother, that girl would only pay for it later. I prayed. Hard. Somehow, I believe God will protect her and keep her alive. She has "my" (His) Spirit, and His Heart. But that doesn't mean that her request for help should go unheard. Whether it's in church or on a bus or whatever, there are tons of little girls (and boys) who are being treated with uncalled for rude-shock "treatment" by the very people who are supposed to nurture them and show them how to get along in the civilized adult world someday. Forceful, angry rudeness is not the way, at all. Somehow, most of them are surviving and have survived. But they still need a place to land someday when they're older.

I told my counselor yesterday afternoon of my plans to start a community service for single non-moms who find themselves homeless. Well, I forgot to give her enough of the details on that. So, I'll post them here for posterity's sake, and perhaps for the sake of someone out there who might read this and be able to do something about it.

First of all, I want it to be for all women 16 and older (immancipated, etc.) who don't have children (if possible, even aged 14 and older), and it wouldn't exclude the elderly either. The reason for that stipulation of not having kids is simple: this is a preventative measure. A number of young women jump from the frying pan into the fire simply because they are offered what seems like a way out from abusive family situations (often the abuse comes from step parents, or aunts/uncles/cousins, or even their own parents), by young men who seem to be "Mr. Wonderful" who turn around, knock them up, and then leave them high and dry. I've refused to go this route, by choice not merely by circumstance, and have paid my own high prices for it in the past. Now, I'm being given the same opportunity that I want to extend to other young women who shouldn't have to face that kind of choice.

Secondly, I have a list of things that I, as a single/childless homeless woman needed to get to this place where I'm well on my way to complete independence and successes that I can really be proud of:

1. Shelter w/kitchen, closet, laundry, shower, cooking utensils/cutting board/appliances, dinner utensils, dishwasher, microwave, large refrigerator and cupboards/shelves. God provided these for me the day I became homeless, and I still have access to all these things.
2. Laptop/Internet Access, cell phone, car, gas vouchers. God provided me with these things too, some long ago and others right when I needed them most. I realize that some would say that people should have to earn those for themselves first. Minor problem: if a person doesn't have these things, they seriously can NOT compete with other job seekers, and they'll be left out in the cold. Solution: Batteries only for electronic devices lent out to people (no power chords, and recharging can take place in a locked office at night), and gas vouchers that only give up to 2 gallons of gas per day plus GPS installed in case someone who has more money than they're claiming tries to steal a car. And no, buses aren't good enough when a person has so many appointments to go to. Seriously.
3. Food stamps, professional clothes, a small "toiletries" allotment (by voucher or by a "EBT Limited-Shopping Cash Card", parking, and a personal key to a single or shared apartment.
4. College. Seriously. Financial Aid, housing deposits, help with getting deferments arranged... No single woman should have barriers to being in college. Period.
5. A requirement of turning in daily lists of employer signatures acquired when a woman turns in an application (or has done so in the past). This is how women would pay their "rent" (secure their housing for the next day), unless they were actually sick and had seen the in-house nurse about it. And sick would include menstrual issues if those really were a problem for a woman, because that only happens once a month and is very, very real.
6. Emotional support. This would include having social events in the evenings that would enable at least loose friendships to form, if not close ones. Such events would be optional. As would any religious services provided. If a woman would rather, as far as I'm concerned, she can stay in her own place and read or cry or whatever - it's her own life. Optional counseling services and support groups would also be made available.
7. Smoking not allowed in most areas and not allowed in any rooms (all smokers would have to consent to at least sit in on Stop-smoking programs, but wouldn't have to participate). One smoking area in the back, outside, would be provided. Anyone caught smoking in their room would forfeit their ability to stay in any room for one month, though they would still be allowed to participate in everything else.
8. The same would go for drinking/drugs, minus the concept of having some area provided for women to do drugs. A mini-bar would be provided in the smoking area, with a real bar-tender who would monitor and limit the amount of alcohol consumed by each woman.
9. Storage and U-Haul vouchers.
10. Pro-bono court advocates.
11. A printed list of the most important local and national community service phones, emails, physical addresses and web sites.
12. Basic Health coverage applications at the front desk, and help in filling them out.
13. Resume help and job-history cheat-sheets (I have one: it's where I keep every last dumb little bit of data regarding my job history (dates, addresses, phones, supervisor names, salary info, etc)).
14. Help in making and maintaining a good list of professional and personal references.
15. As many paid in-house job opportunities as possible, at minimum wage, regardless of if those women are currently living there or used to live there (though women not still living there would be encouraged to keep looking for work elsewhere so as to make room for other newer women).
16. Encouragement to keep going and embrace the new life that each woman is being given.
17. Folders and large envelopes to keep all their most important data in. Pens and short pencils. Notepads at least 4"x6" in size. Donated purses and other accessories. Combs, hairdryers, curling irons.
18. A list of the local businesses who the women who had gone through the program had had the most successes in gaining employment at thus far.

All non-client employees would be either volunteers or professionals paid competitive rates. Funding would come from investors and local charitable funding sources. And I would have to form some kind of business plan. I want to be a Social Worker for a lot of other reasons too, not only because I want to do this project, but I do think it will help, so that I can continue learning just how to pull this off. It helps that I went to Heald Business College for 2 years - I have some real education regarding just how to start and operate/maintain a business. But I should continue with my business classes. I also want to do internships in the same local community services that have been so great with helping me help myself. I want to learn the ropes. And then swing them to great lengths :)

What I don't want to do is wait an extra 10 years like my counselor suggested. She did that because she wants me to gain a reputation first. But I've realized that all I have to do is get others involved who are already reputable, who can do the "Social Work" end of things, while I manage the business end of things. Having my degree will help, but I don't want to be the one counseling people and so forth. I'd rather that others who've been in this longer, who want to make a difference, had the chance to do just that.